The Bill Handel Show
Islamophobic Skit TranscriptMarch 18, 2004
[The following is a transcript of a hateful and bigoted anti-Islamic skit that aired on Los Angeles radio station KFI-AM 640 (Clear Channel Communications) on March 10. The radio show is hosted by a Jew named Bill Handel who has a history of making obscene and racist remarks against non-Jewish ethnic, racial and religious groups including Mexicans. The skit has prompted a Muslim civil rights group to demand FCC action.]
KFI-AM Bill Handel Show : With us is that great constitutional scholar -- the Iraqi constitutional scholar -- Muhammad Barak Farud Kaffi: (phonetic spelling) Mr. Muhammad, would share with us some of the provisions in that constitution that very few of us are aware of.
"Muhammad": Yeah, I brought a couple of pages to read to you.
Handel: Okay.
"Muhammad": We, the people of Iraq, in order to form a more perfect union, promote injustice, ensure domestic anarchy, provide for a radical religious fundamentalist theocracy, promote the subjugation of women and secure the blessing of the almighty Allah for ourselves and our prosperity, do ordain and establish this interim constitution of the new Iraq. Sounds very familiar, doesn't it?
Handel : It does. I'm surprised. You took a lot of it from the United States, didn't you, sir?
"Muhammad": Yes, and we will take more of your money.
Handel: Yes, thank you.
"Muhammad": Article One, Section One: All legislative powers are herein granted and shall be vested in Grand Ayatollah Ali Al Sistani, who will personally see to it that personal freedom and civil rights be set back 1,000 years.
Section Two: Death to the Jews, death to the Jews, death to the Jews.
Section Three: The House of Representatives shall be composed of [unintelligible] of American-hating terrorists who shall conduct a war of attrition for one thousand years or until the infidel is eradicated from the planet entirely, whichever comes first.
Section Four: Kill all Jews, death to Israel, kill all Jews.
(pause) Handel: Thank You.
"Muhammad" : Section Five. Handel: Oh, there's more? Go ahead, yes, go ahead.
"Muhammad": Section Five, every martyr in the name of Allah will be given 72 virgins upon entry into heaven. The virgins, however, will not be hairy Iraqi women but lovely Japanese schoolgirls. This will be personally guaranteed in the name of Allah.
Section Six: The Hebrew must die, free Palestine, the Hebrew must die.
Section Seven: All western teachings shall be from this day banned throughout Iraq, especially the infidel custom of bathing on a regular basis.
Section Eight: Death to the Zionist conspiracy, death to the Zionist conspiracy, death to the Zionist conspiracy.
Section Nine: All homosexual marriages are expressly prohibited and are punishable by death; however civil unions between consenting Iraqi adults and loving camels and goats will be recognized.
Section Ten, See Sections Two, Four, Six, and Eight.
(LAUGHTER)
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